


The picture you don't see

by bloodandcream



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, background relationship of Ruby and Lilith, brief background mention of abuse drugs and prostitution, but really by the end its just sappy and domestic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 08:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3127670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas was nothing like anything she’d ever known, but he was everything that felt right. He sat framed by the window across the table from her, the early morning sunlight yellow and soft as it fell around his shoulders, lit up the curling ends of his rumpled hair casting a small corona around his head. He looked like a disheveled angel of thursday morning the way he smiled at her. Meg thought it was weird, she didn’t really crave sex with him, she just wanted intimacy, she wanted to be close. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, taste the coffee on his lips, feel his breath across her cheek, to know his solidity and presence in the warmth of his body and the reach of his limbs around her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The picture you don't see

It was an unreal kind of day when everything started to click into place for Meg and she could see a bigger picture. The sun was bright and she was sitting in the dappled shade of a big oak tree in one of the smaller parks the city had to offer. She had just needed a few minutes to clear her head, and wandered out absent mindedly without thinking of where she was going. Go figure she’d end up running in to an old friend.

Ruby looked different, a lot different. Her hair was brunette instead of blond, her skin was clear and her eyes were bright. She was smiling widely around a mouthful of french fries she was eating out of a paper cone as she waved to Meg and jogged over. Ruby was wearing a short sleeved shirt in the warm weather, and the small scars around the inside of her elbows were so faded that Meg probably wouldn’t have noticed them if she hadn’t thought to look.

Meg had been struggling, for a while, to stay clean herself. It was hard when she was still surrounded by all the reasons she’d started to use in the first place. Years after she’d told herself she’d change, find something better, move on, and she was still stripping, still turning tricks, still staying with Luke and hiding the bruises behind make up, fake smiles, defensive sarcasm.

Ruby knew her well enough to see through all that, she had disappeared from the club without a word almost a year ago now. She had been just what Meg was. She looked so much healthier now, genuinely happy. More than just bolstering Meg’s resolve, Ruby gave her a way out, one of those pieces that she needed to fit the other’s together and see where she was supposed to go.

A new job. Ruby offered a new job in a different part of town where she could get a place of her own and disappear.

Meg was a skeptical person. She didn’t really believe in destiny or fate, things meant to be, kismet, any of that kind of crap. But there was just something about running in to Ruby that random sunny day and she knew it was her out.

 

-

All right, so the apartment she ended up getting wasn’t really anywhere in the vicinity of her new job. It was a shitty little apartment, more like a closet really, that had two rooms - on of them was the bathroom, the other was the living room/kitchen/bedroom. It was tiny. But she could afford it on what little she was going to get with the job Ruby hooked her up with.

See, it wasn’t necessarily a full time job. It was actually an apprenticeship slash job. Ruby had apparently in her absence hooked up with a girl named Lilith who was a piercer and tattoo artist, and who taught Ruby how to do piercings. The shop they worked at was doing well and the owner, Abby, was looking to take someone else in. So Meg got to be the apprentice now, and run the desk, and generally be everyone’s bitch. Hey, she was cool with that. She was bringing home a small check that was just big enough for her own little closet.

Plus, she was learning how to stab people with needles for a living.

The shop was a long string of subway rides away from her closet. Three total that she had to take, and the commute was a bitch. Being an upstanding citizen with a legitimate job - and being on the lowest rung of the shop - she had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to make it in on time to open up. She couldn’t fathom why a tattoo and piercing shop opened at eight a.m., no one came in that early.

Still, she suffered through the morning crowd armed with a massive to-go mug of coffee that could hold the half of the coffee pot she never had time to finish before she had to sprint out to catch her first subway.

It wasn’t all bad though. One thing she had always enjoyed was people watching. Even though the morning rush crowds could be frustrating to deal with, there was no shortage of interesting people to watch. As she switched lines and got closer in to the center of the city the cars got more and more packed, especially with business people in suits and ties going no doubt to the tall gleaming skyscrapers in the epicenter of the city.

After a few weeks of the morning shift Meg started to notice ‘the regulars’. The people with a schedule that went to the same place at the same time every day. A lot of them blended together, the dull backdrop of a busy city that was a shifting throng of humanity like a singular entity. But some people stood out. That one guy who always wore tie-die and smiled at everyone, carrying a bulky guitar case. The lady in killer stiletto heels with a shrill voice you could hear over the din of the subway because she was always glued to her cell phone. The grumpy guy in a trench coat that stood out in the hubub because he was always so still, so severe, and had the bluest eyes Meg had ever seen.

She was getting used to the morning shift, and being clean. Being alone.

-

Grumpy guy wore similar dark suits with some form of blue tie and the same tan trench coat day in and day out, without fail, every Monday through Friday that Meg saw him on the subway. He carried a thin briefcase, and got on the same car, and he never smiled. He never talked to anyone, never used a cell phone. It was kind of weird.

Meg tended to gravitate towards where the crowds were thinnest. Which, really was almost non existent on the last line of her commute. But, she usually ended up in the same car with grumpy guy. He stood by the same pole, swaying with the motion of the car and staring passively out at the blinking lights of the tunnel as they rode.

-

Shit days always had a way of piling even more shit on. This particular morning, Meg woke up late, skipped breakfast, put her pants on inside out without realizing until she noticed the seams on her first subway line, and forgot to put sugar in her coffee. She scowled at everyone from the corner she was pressed into on the car, bitterly sipping her bitter coffee. All she wanted was to get to the shop and put her fucking pants on right.

So she rushed, she tried to push ahead of the churning mass of people that were all rushing out. Meg had gotten ahead of grumpy guy, which she realized she usually didn’t, his flapping trench coat was almost always ahead of her as she headed up the steps to the city street.

Her head start didn’t last long, but the shit kept piling. Meg was jostled from behind on her way up the steps, managed to trip, spill her coffee all over herself, and landed after a painful collision with the wall then her knee to a step, her hand splayed wide to brace herself slipped on a piece of broken glass and cut her palm. There was a whirl of tan trench coat by her head and as she looked up, a barely mumbled ‘my apologies’ as grumpy guy just kept going. She cursed him and his household as she pushed herself back up, people streaming around her seeming pissed for the inconvenience when she was now bleeding on her inside out jeans.

Fucking asshole.

-

The next day, Meg managed to put her clothes on right like a big girl, and dosed her coffee with extra sugar to make up for her still throbbing hand that was tightly bandaged. It had gotten cut pretty deep. She briefly considered avoiding grumpy asshole - he had been downgraded from grumpy guy - but decided against giving him the pleasure. Instead she made sure to get on his car, her coffee mug clutched in her good hand as she reached her bad hand up to the pole above where his was gripped.

He turned his head from where it was looking out at nothing, blinked at her, tipped his head towards her bandaged hand, blinked again. Meg scowled at him.

"Do you seriously not even remember me from yesterday?"

He squinted at her.

"Oh. I ran in to you on the steps.”

"Uh, yeah, and didn’t even stop. Thanks, asshole."

"What happened to your hand?"

"Well, I burned my thigh with my coffee and cut my hand on a piece of glass. How was your morning?"

"I’m sorry. I was rushing to work."

"Well news flash, we’ve all got jobs, and we’ve all got places to be. Just because you work somewhere big and important, doesn’t mean you’re better than the rest of us."

"I’m sorry.”

His shoulders slumped and he looked down at his shoes. Okay, so he was a grumpy apologetic asshole. He was still an asshole.

"I hadn’t realized. Are you all right?"

Meg refused to soften her glare. “Having a busted hand tends to make a lot of things harder. But yeah, I’m just peachy.”

"Is there anything I could do for you?"

"Look I don’t want your fucking pity, but you could make an effort not to be a dickbag. I’m sure a lot more people than just me would appreciate that."

He nodded at her, and he looked like he was taking her little tirade way too seriously, which kind of took the wind out of her sails.

"I will make an effort."

Meg rolled her eyes. “Good.”

She still wanted to call him an asshole, but then he gave her a little smile and in the past few minutes she’d seen more expression on his face than all the weeks she’d seen him on the subway. He kind of seemed to light up a little bit. She knew better than most that looks could be deceiving, and she couldn’t really help it if she wasn’t angry with him anymore.

-

It was her weekend after that, and when she went back to work on Sunday she knew he wouldn’t be on the subway. Meg thought it was kind of weird that she could miss a random guy she’d barely spoken to. Come Monday, he was back again, in his same spot, with his coat and briefcase. He didn’t stare out of the window though, he looked around the subway car till he saw Meg through the crowd and he gave her that same small little smile.

She pushed through the crowds when they shifted on the next stop and gripped on to the pole he was standing next to.

“Hey.”

"Hello."

"I didn’t get your name."

"It’s Castiel."

"Clarence?"

"Castiel!"

It was hard to hear your own thoughts sometimes, with the car screeching over the tracks and the rhythmic clatter as it sped up and slowed down. No wonder they hadn’t talked before.

"Cas?"

He nodded.

"I’m Meg."

"How is your hand?"

"It’s better."

It was still healing, and sore, but it was all scabbed over so she wasn’t wearing a bandage. They stood and swayed awkwardly together for a few stops while people milled around them. When there was a bit of a quiet lull, Cas started talking again.

"Did you know that elephant herds are matriarchal?”

"Uh. No, I didn’t know that."

"Yes, and they’re one of the one most intelligent animals on earth, very expressive, they have a highly developed hippocampus which is responsible for emotional and spatial awareness. ”

"What, do you watch Animal Planet in your free time or something?"

"Yes."

He smiled at her again, more than a close lipped twitch of his lips, it split his face and showed off straight white teeth and Meg couldn’t help smiling back. God, what a fucking dork. Ok, so he wasn’t that grumpy actually, and he wasn’t much of an asshole. He liked to watch animal planet and talk about elephants. Really.

"Huh. So what other elephant wisdom do you have for me?"

At her sarcastic - he must not have noticed - interest, Castiel started rattling on factoids about elephants. Even though Meg could only hear him half of the time, it was actually kind of interesting. His face looked a lot younger when he spoke so animatedly, his eyes going wide, and she watched the movement of his lips around the words. It seemed like something mundane, something she should think was stupid, talking about elephants on a crowded subway with a near stranger, but he was genuinely passionate about it. Light up from the inside let me infect you with my passion kind of passionate.

Meg was glad she had been wrong about the way he looked.

-

Meg had tidied the shop, stocked the work stations, and was wiping down the front counter when Ruby strolled in a half hour late. She leaned on the just cleaned glass counter and peered at Meg, clicking her tongue a few times. 

"Oooh, what’s that look?"

"What do you mean?"

"You’ve got that wooby star crossed lovers look.”

"Whatever. Piss off. "

"Ah ah, going on the defensive, definite sign that I’m right."

"Or that you’re just irritating."

"We all know I have an abrasive personality, but in the end, I’m awesome, and I’m always right. So fess up."

Meg groaned and crossed her arms over her chest. She liked Ruby, she did, she was the one mostly friend that Meg had left and she was the reason Meg was where she was.

"Well I maybe kind of met a guy, but it’s not really anything.”

"Aha! I knew it."

"We’ve talked twice. He’s from a completely different world, ok, no way there’s interest. Besides he’s a dork."

"What kind of dork?"

"His idea of casual conversation this morning was to inform me of the mating habits of elephants."

Ruby’s head thunked on the counter when she fell over laughing.

"Not helping Ruby."

"So, this is the guy from the subway, yeah?"

"Yep."

"The one that pushed you?"

"Bumped me."

"Mhmm."

Meg stared at her.

"You should totally ask him out. Be forward. Aggressive."

Meg shrugged, trying to be casual but admitted something she was still grappling with.

"I don’t know if I’m really ready yet."

To date, or go out, or just hell, be around other people she wasn’t obligated to be around.

Surprisingly, that was something Ruby handled with tact. She strolled around the counter and slung her coat over a chair.

"Well, you could always brush up on national geographic and take it slow."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Make like the mating habits of sloths."

"Shut up Ruby."

-

Meg bumped in to Animal Planet guy a few more times, purposefully, over the course of the next few weeks. Sometimes it’s hard to get close as tight packed like sardines that everyone is in the cars. Sometimes she just doesn’t get a spot on the car that he does. But there are a few times she got close enough to talk to him. She did actually take Ruby’s advise and check out some National Geographic magazines from the library. Meg was more a magazine kind of gal than a tv kind of gal anyway. Plus, she didn’t have cable.

They talked about weird animals and nature, Meg mentioned a few of the articles that surprisingly caught her attention and he listened with rapt interest, they bumped shoulders and walked together up the steps of the subway until they went their separate ways. Even when it was too loud or she was across the car from him, his blue eyes would find her and he would smile at her.

Meg didn’t ask him for anything more. He didn’t ask her for anything more. It was a mutually slothful arrangement.

-

It’s usually mostly adults on the last subway ride of Meg’s commute. One morning she trots down the steps to wait for her last line in the scuffed up combat boots she always wears, head up and craning around the tall people of the crowd to look for Animal Planet guy. She doesn’t see him at first because he’s crouched down, his trench coat rumpled around his feet, talking to a small child. Meg’s smushed between a fat smelly guy and a girl texting on her cell, waiting on the platform for the subway and twisted back watching Castiel.

He heaves the small child, who barely comes up past his knees, and swings her onto his shoulders. She looks like a normal grubby little kid and Meg wonders how he knows her. She has curly brown hair, and there are tears shining her eyes that Meg sees when the kid is hefted up on the tall broad shoulders. The kid points somewhere and Castiel follows. They head towards a woman in jeans and a sweater who’s turning around frantically and starts running towards them.

As soon as they get close, Castiel lowers the little girl back down and she is scooped up by who Meg assumes is her mother. They’re strangers. The kid was just lost. The mom clutches her close and Meg can see Castiel’s big genuine smile widen on his face, crinkle around his eyes as he backs away.

Meg staunchly refuses to get sappy over ‘not that grumpy guy who’s definitely not really an asshole’ helping a little hell spawn that was lost find it’s mother. Nope. Not happening. She purposefully gets in a different car from him when the subway comes.

-

A few days later and Meg stops avoiding Animal Planet guy. She can’t help herself. There’s just something about him and she hates how cliche that sounds, but getting herself pressed up next to him in a crowded car that morning makes her relax. He smells nice.

He looks more rumpled this morning, his hair is messy and there are bags under his eyes. Meg notices that his tie is on backwards.

"You’re tie is backwards."

"What?"

"Your. Tie. Is. On. Backwards."

He shakes his head. Meg presses her coffee travel mug against his chest and he squints at her, confused for a minute before he raises his arm to cradle it in the crook of his elbow. He’s got one hand on the pole and the other clutching his briefcase now supporting her mug. Meg braces her feet as she rocks with the car turning a corner, and reaches up to undo his tie.

"Oh. My tie."

"Yeah. What’s up with you, you’re not all there today."

Nimbly unknotting his tie, Meg pushes his collar up to straighten it, and ties it again but facing the correct way this time

"I … have a very important meeting this morning."

Meg nods, flattening his tie down, and she purposefully runs her hand over it a few times, feeling the warmth and firmness of his body under the white button down shirt.

"Then you better get your shit together. You’re a wreck."

"Uh. Thanks?"

Meg reaches up and starts to flatten down some of his wayward hair. It’s usually so neatly combed and parted. The dark brown, almost black, tufts of messy hair are soft under her fingers. Castiel is watching her, eyes narrowed and lips pressed together.

She’s not sure what any of this means.

-

Cas isn’t on the subway the next day, or the day after that. Meg doesn’t see him at all the following week. She doesn’t see him hanging around the platform, on his usual car or on a different one, doesn’t see him out on the street they both always stop at.

He could be sick, Meg reasoned the first few days he was missing. When it got to be a longer stretch of time, she figured he was on vacation. As it turned into a month, she wondered if he moved or got a different job.

Ruby kept commenting that she was too grouchy, a downer, even Lilith was starting to say her attitude was bad for business. They tried to get Meg to go out with them on the weekends. She didn’t need to be around the crowds, the alcohol, around the kind of people she used to always be around.

Meg watched old movies from the library, she kept reading old copies of National Geographic, she moped in her apartment like some love sick teen pining after a boy. Ungh. It was gross. She even got a fucking plant, a fern, because she kept reading about how they were good for you. There was only one window in the single room that was her closet of an apartment, and it was now occupied by the fern.

Eventually, Meg let Ruby convince her to go out on the weekend. Ruby had managed to stay clean, and she went out all the time and partied. Meg was feeling too alone, missing that weird kind of spark of light that Cas had been.

She ended up getting shit faced and having a one night stand with a smoking hot chick that Meg is fairly certain was named Casey. On one hand, it felt pretty good to get out and socialize. On the other hand, it felt a little too familiar to things she didn’t want to be anymore. So Meg turned down Ruby the next weekend, and the one after that. Eventually her co-workers left her alone to pine for a guy that she never had a relationship with beyond snatched conversations on the subway.

At least she finished her apprenticeship and the pay was better as a full fledged piercer.

-

There were plenty of homeless people scattered through the dirty streets on Meg’s walk back home from her subway stop. She usually passed them by. There were regulars that she saw day after day, and every now and then new ones cropped up with wide eyes and hands shaking around their paper cups or tin cans. Down Fourth street , every other shop with boarded windows, there’d been this new guy hunched in a doorway with the red hood of his sweater up and his hands dangling loosely over his knees with a cup sitting at his feet.

Meg wanted to tell him he’s not gonna get anything if he keeps his head down, if he keeps begging on poor half deserted streets. He should already know, there’s barely more than a few coins in his cup day after day. She thinks about giving him a little change, maybe a few dollars, but it’s not like Meg has a lot to spread around either.

She’d been down on her luck before. At least she’d never been homeless, she told herself. Although Meg sometimes wonders how different her life would have been if she’d of slept under a bridge for a while instead of sleeping in Luke’s bed - and all his friends beds.

It was getting in to the thick of summer when she walked back home down that street and saw the homeless guy in the red sweater standing and looking up, leaning back against the building and actually watching his surroundings. His face was half buried in dark brown scruff but Meg recognized the piercing blue eyes.

She jerked to a stop in front of him.

"You’re the animal planet guy."

"Excuse me?"

"Clarence, right?"

He squinted at her, tilted his head, and it was all so familiar she could smell his aftershave, even though the guy standing in front of her was unwashed.

“Meg.”

"Hey Cas."

She couldn’t help smiling at him. There were a million questions she wanted to ask, things she never asked him before when she was just waiting for something she couldn’t put her finger on. Waiting for it to be right, to be ready, to be different.

But she wouldn’t ask him those questions, when a guy goes from neat pressed suit to dirty ripped jeans, you don’t ask ‘hey where have you been’, or ‘what have you been up to’, or ‘what happened’. Meg knew, when you fall hard, you don’t want to answer those questions. So she stood dumb stricken in front of him as he quietly regarded her.

He folded his hands closer to his body, tucking the little paper cup against his side, his mouth pressing closed. Meg didn’t really want to let him go another time though, even though she still wasn’t sure if it was right.

"So, I just got off work, you want to catch a bite, I know a place with great sandwiches a few blocks from here."

Before he could say no, she shrugged and finished with, “On me, of course, since I’m asking.”

He licked his chapped lips and Meg figured he’d say no, but he gave her one of those small smiles that lit up his eyes just a little. “All right.”

-

Meg looked for Cas down that street on her way home from work then. She jostled through crowds and checked doorways, keeping an eye out for his bright red hoody. It was the only thing she saw him in. He always smiled to see her, and they talked about National Geographic now. Cas said he spent a lot of his time in the library. When she could afford it, Meg would drag him along to that deli she liked. He always ordered a water, and she always ordered a fat sandwich, then pushed half of it across the table on a napkin at him. He was stubborn, but Meg was better at glowering.

Cas was a smart guy, real smart, and through snippets of casual information Meg learned that he had graduated college, had worked at some big time law firm with his family, had fallen out with them and through a really long series of patchy half explained misfortunes had found himself on the streets.

Meg gave him a few little snippets of her own background, carefully chosen, about running away from home to make it in the big city and one bad decision after another. There were a lot of people like her out there, and she figured he could fill in the gaps on his own.

So they ate sandwiches, talked about homosexuality among bats, the migratory patterns of birds, the domestication of dogs, and other such things.

-

Ruby knew something was up. She was way too good at sniffing out gossip.

"You’ve been smiling a lot lately Meg."

"I smile."

"You scowl."

"Whatever."

"Something is different."

Meg ignored her and reviewed the appointments they had for that day then started pulling out the display shelves to organize the jewelry under the front counter.

"I’m just going to start spreading rumors if you don’t tell me."

"Ruby. You know I can make your life difficult if you make my life difficult."

"You already make my life difficult."

"Fair point."

"Is it a boy?"

Meg groaned inwardly, sometimes she really hated how well her best friend knew her.

"Oh it is isn’t it?"

Yeah, she was never going to shut up unless Meg gave her something.

"Do you remember that guy I used to talk about, from the subway?"

"No way, mysterious animal planet guy?"

"Yeah him."

"You ran in to him again?"

Ruby was practically bouncing in her chair, her bag of caramel candies forgotten in favor of Meg’s basically non existent social life.

"I did. We’ve hung out a few times."

"Did you see him on the subway again?"

"No."

"Where’d you meet him? Oh, oh, oh was it a rom com moment of like brushing hands or bumping in to each other, it totally was wasn’t it?"

"It was nothing like that, don’t get yourself worked up."

"Well come on then, dish."

Meg leaned back against the counter and scowled at Ruby.

Ruby was impervious to her death stare.

"I ran in to him on the way home from work. He’s homeless."

"Shut up."

"I’m serious."

"Wow, you’ve got a crush on a hobo."

"Oh my god, I swear Ruby."

The bell on the front door tinkled and a couple walked in, whom Meg was very happy to help pick out a piece of flash from the wall art even though Ruby would be the one tattooing it. Hopefully, Ruby would forget this line of conversation - Meg doubted that - or someone would come in for a piercing and Meg could keep herself busy away from Ruby.

-

After a long shift the next Saturday, Meg got out of work later than usual and hoped that she would catch Cas down Fourth street. He just made her days a little more interesting. It had been a tiring week, her electric bill was higher than it should be and rent was due, so she had resorted to wearing a low cut top to try and get better tips. Hey, at least it worked. And she had a little extra to spare, so after almost falling on her face from exhaustion, she wanted to find Cas and drag him to a coffee shop. 

The sky was starting to darken but he was still lurking in a doorway with his familiar red hoody on, his whole face brightening when he saw her wave. His beard was getting even scruffier, but his hair was clean and his clothes were washed; Meg hoped he had found a shelter or somewhere to stay. She had for a brief few minutes entertained the fact of inviting him back to her apartment. It didn’t really even have enough space for her though, and she was pretty sure that might be a bit weird. 

“You look lovely today Meg.”

“Thanks. Gotta earn my tips. You wanna get coffee?”

Castiel nodded and fell in step with her, following wherever she led. Meg bought them both coffee - a mocha for her, plain black coffee for Cas and she knew he was getting the cheapest thing just because, so she ordered two massive cinnamon buns too. 

A storm started up while they ate and talked, rain coming down heavy and pooling on the uneven concrete sidewalks. It was later than Meg thought, when they called closing and she’d just finished licking icing off her fingers. Cas smiled at her. 

“Thank you for the company.”

“Yeah, of course. You got somewhere to get out of the storm?”

“I do. You’re not too far from here are you?”

“Bout fifteen minutes. I really should get an umbrella.”

“I’m staying somewhere that’s only a few blocks away if you want to wait out the storm.”

“Oh?”

“It’s, well I’m squatting but it’s dry.”

Meg set her empty mug and plate in the bin for the employees as they made their way to the door, considering the rain when a bright streak of lightning arched across the sky. 

Castiel tugged his hoody close to his body. “Forget I said anything.”

“No, it’s fine, it’s dangerous to be out in a lightning storm isn’t it? I’ll come with you.”

He blinked at her, blue eyes considering something and she wasn’t sure what. They were the only two left lingering at the door while the employees noisily started stacking chairs up on the tables. Cas pulled his hoody off and shoved it at her, not giving her a minute to think about it before he was dashing out in the storm in a thin t-shirt. Meg pulled it on and chased after him. 

It was dark in the storm with half the street lights gone out, and Meg was soaked in the minute it took to run to where Castiel was staying. The dashed across an empty parking lot that was pocked with holes and littered with trash, a half torn down chain link fence on one side, boarded up brick building on another, and in front of them where Cas was heading an old church. When a streak of lightning lit up the parking lot, Meg got a better look at the derelict church, white paint peeling on the sides and half the stained glass windows broken out and left open to the weather. 

Cas disappeared inside through a side door hanging off it’s hinges, pulling it back to hold out of the way for Meg. She shook out her loose hair when she stood next to him in the dark entryway. He grabbed her hand, clammy and cold, pulling her forward. Meg couldn’t see anything, but he must have known where he was going. She supposed this should probably feel creepy, but she was more thrilled and intrigued than anything. Meg never did have good survival instincts. 

“Just through here… stay right there, I’ll get a fire lit. Don’t stray.”

“What do you mean, don’t stray?”

“Some of the church has collapsed in, parts aren’t safe but if you stay right there, I’ll get something lit soon.”

Meg pulled his sodden sweatshirt off, holding it heavy in her hand while she started to shiver. She could hear him rummaging around, and then a small firelight started several yards in front of her. In a minute, he had a fire going in a little hand made pit over the marble floor of the church. The fire started crackling and livening up, casting long shadows in the cavernous space and Meg could see one corner where the roof had fallen in a little and the choir balcony was coming down. Castiel had pulled a few loose - or ripped up - pews around the fire pit he made in the dry part of the church. 

Meg walked over to him and slung his hoody over the back of a wood pew, sitting down and holding her hands out towards the warmth of the fire. 

“So this is where you live huh?”

“Temporarily.”

“Gotta hand it to you, minus the skylight it’s a lot fancier than my digs.”

Castiel laughed, standing up from where he crouched next to the fire and coming over to sit next to her. 

“The windows are pretty in the morning. At least, the ones left are.”

“Isn’t it cold?”

“Yes.”

“Man, I live a shoe box that’s about the size of the altar.”

“Do you mean the apse?”

“Huh? That area, up there.”

Meg pointed towards the front of the church, where they did their services or whatever. She didn’t come from a particularly religious family. 

“That open area is the apse, the altar is specifically that table in the middle.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah my whole apartment is about the size of the apse.”

Castiel nodded. “I do enjoy the space. Nice open floor plan.”

He had a sarcastic streak to rival her own, and Meg loved that about him. They were sitting in a church falling down where he’d apparently been living and he was sitting across from her with the fire deepening the creases of his face but he had some kind of shine to him she couldn’t resist. 

-

Meg had three days off work, which she was grateful for because she did catch a small cold chasing Cas through the rain and shivering in his church with him, pretending the fire was warm enough. 

The next time she walked home down Fourth street, she didn’t see him anywhere. Or the next time after that, or all week long. After a few weeks had passed, it was like his disappearing act from the subway all over again. Meg was a lot more worried this time, about whether he had gotten hurt or not. Gotten himself mixed up in anything bad. 

She tried to forget about him, again, and she failed, again. 

Meg got a septum and labret piercing from Ruby. She had Lilith do her first tattoo, a dragonfly on the small of her back. She died her hair black, and started smoking again. She did not go out on the weekends with Ruby. 

Meg felt alone again, but she had no desire for any company except her fern plant. 

-

Eventually, Meg listened to her co-workers, her friends. Even Abby had commented that she was far too maudlin. Meg let them set her up again. She didn’t want to go out and party, didn’t want to do much but stay at home and read magazines or watch movies. Ruby said she knew a girl, someone more low key, with a bit of a wild streak but responsible overall. Kind of quiet, pretty, with a morbid sense of humor that Ruby thought would be perfect for Meg. 

Tessa was really sweet. Meg liked her, she did, but after a few weeks of half hearted dates and nothing more than a little kissing, they fizzled out without any real spark or sense of connection. 

Ruby complained and said that she was too high maintenance. After several months of no Cas, Meg couldn’t really remember what exactly it was that she missed so much. There was a little ache in her chest when she thought about him, but it wasn’t like they ever dated, they had never kissed, the last time she had seen him he had been homeless. There was nothing to miss, she thought. 

So Meg let Ruby convince her to go out and party again. It was too loud, too annoying, all the bright lights and music that Meg used to love so much didn’t really hold any appeal for her. She pressed a note into Ruby’s small clutch when she left the club, because she doubted her drunk friend would remember that Meg said she was going home. They weren’t too far from her apartment, so she decided to walk the whole way and hope the cold night air would clear her head. 

Meandering down bright lit streets to cut through a park, Meg had put on a nice satiny purple top to go out but made no other effort with her usual tight jeans and boots. She was glad she didn’t really wear high heels any more. She almost walked past where the path bisected to a tunnel going down under a foot bridge, but someone standing in the shadows caught her attention. 

He was passing something off to a skinny guy in a dark hoody, leaning back against the concrete wall under the bridge wearing sandals himself and waving goodbye. When he shifted closer to the light, Meg recognized blue eyes and a wide smile. She stood stupefied for a moment, maybe still a little drunk, until he waved at her and she found herself drawn forward. 

It was Cas. Wearing a baggy thin blue shirt and canvas pants, bare toes poking out of his sandals. His eyes were so blue even in the dark but they were glassy and unevenly dilated. He laughed breathlessly. 

“Meg? Is that you?”

“Fucking seriously Cas, are you high?”

He made a face at her, nodding, his hands stuck in his pockets. 

“Yeah. Do you want some?”

“Fuck, no. Man, you have changed.”

“Mm, no I don’t think so. You see, this has been a potentiality, and I’m just now actualizing, but, everything that we are, we always are, it’s just that, whatever is on the surface at the moment, it shifts, see, everything shifts, and there’s always been this but it’s manifesting now, and I’m still everything I have been.”

“Wow. I do not need this right now. You should get some help.”

He shrugged and reached out for her, hand closing over her wrist and his grip was too tight. 

“It’s good to see you again Meg.”

“It’s not good to see you like this. What the fuck Cas? You’re smarter than this. You still squatting?”

“No, no, I’m living with a few guys, Dean helped me get back on my feet see, and Benny is, well he’s Benny.”

Meg pulled her arm away from him. “You keep sampling the product you’re supposed to be selling, I don’t think your supplier, or pimp, or whatever, is going to be happy with you.”

“Dean is, it’s not quite like that. It’s complicated.”

“Cas, you need help, and I’m not sure I can give it to you, but if you don’t even want it then I need to fucking get out of here.”

He squinted at her, tilted his head, that gesture so fucking familiar and the ache in her chest bloomed into pain and Meg couldn’t deal with it. He looked just like Cas but there wasn’t that light in his eyes, that special sort of something that had drawn her in. Meg turned and walked away. 

-

Meg called off work for a few days and holed herself up in her small closet of an apartment. She didn’t consider what she was doing to be moping. She wanted to be angry, that she had ever cared about him, had ever been fascinated by him. But Meg couldn’t really bring herself to feel much at all. She wasn’t that sad, or hurt, just tired. So she binge watched old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, ordered Chinese, and wore the same pajamas for four days in a row.

She told herself she was just tired. Tired of trying so hard to be happy, trying to find meaning in other people, trying to find some kind of purpose to order her life with. She was clean, she was healthy, she was respectably employed. Meg figured that ought to be enough. But it wasn’t.

When she went back to work, everyone avoided her and her tips were abysmal. Meg had come to think of Abby and Lilith as her friends as well, and she supposed they probably felt the same way because they all knew to keep a distance for a while. They cared in their own way though. Ruby took on more customers while Meg cleaned and organized the shop, finding it easier to deal with objects instead of people. Lilith left sweets around her work station and on her lunch bags. Abby let her shift her hours around and call off more than she should. Meg hadn’t even told them what had been bothering her, but they knew something was wrong and gave her space.

-

The reprieve only lasted for so long, and Meg supposed her prickly back off vibes had probably dulled. She had opened up the shop and was sitting behind the counter flipping through a mindless People magazine when Ruby came in, Lilith in tow. They had been even more attached at the hip lately.

Lilith plopped down in one of the chrome and green vinyl chairs across from Meg and stared at her while Ruby checked their appointment calendar.

"You know what you need?"

Meg rolled her eyes, “A dependable vibrator?”

"Cake. Chocolate cake."

Ruby leaned over Lilith’s shoulder, “Ooh, a new bakery opened a few blocks away.”

Lilith leaned back to circle an arm around Ruby’s waist and pull her closer. “Really? You didn’t tell me, we should go for lunch.”

Meg set her magazine under the counter. “I don’t know how you two aren’t fat by now.”

Ruby shrugged, sitting herself in Lilith’s lap, “Good genes. But seriously, Meg, you need like a vacation or something. And I’m not talking about taking a day off and sulking in your apartment. A real vacation.”

"I don’t need anything."

"You’ve been off for a while man."

"I’m feeling better."

Lilith strummed her fingers on Ruby’s stomach. “You know what would be good. A stripper in a cake.”

Ruby snickered, and Meg figured she probably had something even weirder to suggest but Abby came in the front door with her heels clacking on the linoleum.

"If you have time to sit around and gossip, you have time to set the autoclave Ruby. Meg, have you filled out the order slips? Lilith, I know you have some designs to work on. Get to, ladies."

-

Ruby and Lilith managed to drag her on a ‘proper vacation’ later that autumn when the shop was closed on a holiday. They had saved up and bought a weekend stay at a spa several hours out of the city. Although Meg protested the need for any kind of vacation - and that her friends were spending money on her - she had to admit after a day of being pampered that she felt much better. 

They lazed around gossiping about celebrities while they got pedicures. They giggled about the cute guy that gave massages. They drank too much wine and ended up cuddling, falling asleep together on one of the overly soft beds draped in luxurious sheets.

It eased some of the hollow ache that she felt and Meg was grateful for her friends.

-

That winter was a long and dreary one. Meg made the effort to go out more with her friends, but she never found anything to hold her interest. There wasn’t anyone quite like that one person, who’s head was filled with weird trivia, who liked to talk about the animal world, who whispered doubts and blasphemies in an empty church to her, who confessed what he thought were the sins of his failings over half a deli sandwich and sought her advice, who lit up when he smiled to see her, who had taken a wrong turn somewhere and Meg stopped looking for him then. No one else was like that.

Meg saved over the winter for a deposit to get a larger apartment. She wanted a cat to keep her company, and more plants to tend to. She felt lost even though she didn’t know where she was supposed to go anyway, so she delved into the worlds of tv shows and books. When she longed for change without being able to name any specifics, she tattooed stars on her hips and swallows under her collarbone. She gauged her lower ear lobes a little wider week by week. Meg played with, morphed, sought control over her own body, sought expression with herself, when she felt most alone.

By the time spring came, she was eager to move into a new apartment. Finding one closer to the shop that allowed small pets and was just barely within her budget, Meg snatched it up. It had one big bedroom with a wall of tall windows, and a kitchen slash living room, with a little bathroom that at least had a tub she could soak in.

Meg lined the windows with plants, green leafy ones, ferns and ivy and spider plants. She went to a local shelter and found a fat orange tabby with teeth too long that poked out of his mouth. Meg named him Fangs. He liked to knock things off high shelves and counters, and he slept draped across her face. The cat was good company.

Her new apartment was a twenty minute walk to the shop, and Meg was glad that she didn’t have to take the subway. She scouted different routes and explored the shops between her work and home, tried the coffee in all the cafes.

It had been almost a year since she had seen Castiel last, glassy eyed in the shadows under a bridge. Every now and then she still found herself looking for a red hood in the city crowds.

-

Meg started smoking again. It was a bad habit, sure, but not the worst that she had done. Everyone had their vices. She kept it to no more than two packs a week, but usually one was enough to scratch that unnamable itch. There was a Gas n’ Sip around the corner of her apartment that she found had good prices, so she made it a stop on her way home from work.

After picking up an ‘Us’ magazine and a pack of bubble gum, Meg waited behind someone at the counter and flipped through the magazine until they were checked out. A guy in a white button down underneath that blue uniform vest smiled at her when she looked up and opened his mouth to ask something. Neither of them said anything for a minute while they stared at each other.

He was clean shaven, tan, his hair parted to the side and neat. But the best thing was that his eyes were shining again.

"Meg?"

"Fuckin A."

She mentally shook herself and stepped up to the counter, set her gum and magazine there.

"It’s Clarence right?"

She knew his name, and she was pretty sure that he knew that she knew.

"It’s Castiel."

"Right. Hey Cas."

"Hello."

"You look good, you look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

Castiel looked down at himself, flattened his hands against his blue vest and straightened it, smiled back at her.

"Thank you. You have, uh, some new holes in your face. I like them. They suit you."

"Thanks."

Someone coughed behind Meg and she hadn’t even realized that people were waiting behind her.

"Oh, can I get a pack of Virginia Slim menthol."

Castiel nodded and turned to pull out a box, ringing everything up. Meg paid with cash.

"So I’ll see you around Cas."

"You know where to find me. I’m not going anywhere."

-

Meg tried to tell herself that taking a little time to think would be a good thing. She couldn’t get over how healthy he looked, how sweet he smiled when he saw her. It felt just right, like another one of those puzzle pieces to slot alongside a few others so she could see a new picture. She couldn’t help herself from going back to the Gas n’ Sip the next Tuesday.

She loitered around the store and waited until there were no lines, not even bothering to pick out anything to buy. There was a small tv behind the counter that was fuzzy and too low to hear, but Meg watched a cheetah taking down an antelope on it. It was set to Animal Planet.

When there was no one left in the store but her and Cas, she strolled up to the counter and leaned against it.

"Did you know that honey bees fly up to 15 miles per hour?”

"I did not. That’s very interesting."

"Mhmm."

They just looked at each other for a few heartbeats, the sun coming in bright through the windows. He somehow looked younger than even the first time she had met him, in a baggy trench coat with bags under his eyes and a briefcase clutched tight in his hand.

"Meg, would you like to, uh, there’s a night exhibit on bats at the zoo. Would you like to go with me?"

"Bats, huh? That’s classy first date material."

"Is it a date?"

"It better be. When do you want to go?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow’s Wednesday."

"Does that matter?"

"No. I’d love to go see the bats with you tomorrow night."

-

They met at the zoo on Wednesday a couple of hours before it’s closing time to wander through until the night exhibit started. Meg had been twitchy all day at work and Ruby prodded her until she spilled everything. Which was how she had ended up being dressed like a doll at home by Ruby, who was supposedly trying to help. As soon as she was on her own, Meg let her hair down to it’s usual loose tumble and wiped the lipstick off. She did like the black blouse Ruby had picked out, with the dark blue jeans that hugged her curves and her scuffed boots.

Cas looked like he had just taken his vest off from work, wearing a white button down with light blue jeans, but the sleeves were rolled up and the top few buttons undone. He waved over the crowd to get her attention at the entrance. They meandered around and watched the otters, the flamingos, the emus and the big cats.

As normal hours ended and the zoo was closed off section by section, they were herded towards the atrium with everyone else lingering to watch the bats come out at nightfall. The zoo employees formed them into groups and passed out flash lights, taking them on a tour through the enclosure and narrating about the different kinds of bats there.

Meg and Cas hung back at the end of the group and whispered together, pressing close until Meg found that Cas had wound his arm over her shoulders and she had a hand across his back resting on his hip, feeling the shift of his body as they meandered behind the rest of the group.

The bats squeaked and flapped above them, but Meg didn’t really absorb much new information on them with the distraction she had next to her.

-

They stood together outside the zoo after the bat exhibit was over, regarding each other in the bright street lights of the city still noisy and awake around them. Meg didn’t particularly feel like going to sleep. She didn’t feel like saying goodbye or walking away from Cas anymore.

"I’m not really tired. You got any plans for the rest of the night?"

"No. I have an apartment, it’s small but it’s about a fifteen minute walk from here, if you’d like to come over for coffee."

"Is that a euphemism Cas?"

"It wasn’t intended as such."

"Lead the way."

They talked about not much at all as they walked together back to Castiel’s apartment. He filled in a few blanks - briefly and hastily - about his past year. It was all right. Meg didn’t much want to think about the past either. She’d rather talk about tomorrow, that weekend, about seeing him again and where they should go, and what sort of movies did he like to watch.

It was the balmy sort of late spring night that bordered on too hot, the trees in the parks hanging low with new leaves and weeds sprouting up through the cracks in the pavement. By the time they turned down what Castiel declared his street, they were holding hands and Meg couldn’t stop hearing Ruby cackling in her head about rom coms and cheesy cliches. Then a light drizzle started to fall, not really enough to call rain, but Meg still rolled her eyes at the universe and made a split second decision as Castiel let go of her to fish his keys out of his pocket and unlock the front door to his apartment building.

She tugged on the hem of his shirt, stretching up on her toes when he turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his. He stood still with one hand dangling keys and the other slipping off the handle of the door, before his broad hands found her waist and pulled her closer, keys digging in to her side.

Meg smiled against the press of his lips, eyes half open watching him as he closed his own. She parted her lips, feeling him breathe against her, his body warm and the touch of his tongue shy as a hand pushed up through her hair and cradled her head. She kissed him with the lightest curl of her tongue, like an open ended promise for more, as the spring shower started to build in to rain.

Dropping back on to her feet, hands lingering on his shoulders, Meg found herself pleased with the way his head tipped forward, following her.

"You going to invite me up?"

"Haven’t I already?"

"Oh yeah."

-

His apartment was a single room plus a bathroom, like the one she used to have. The wood floors were stained and scuffed, the wallpaper peeling. It was clean, and tidy, with shelves of books and small pots of herbs on the windowsill in the kitchen corner. There was bed with a tarnished brass frame in one corner, a round table with mis matched chairs in the other. Cas took his shoes off at the door and told her to make herself comfortable while he set on a pot of coffee.

So they would actually be having coffee, well, Meg didn’t mind that. She took her shoes off too, and sat at the table watching him.

"We could always skip the coffee and mess around."

The coffee pot started to drip and Cas turned around, leaning against the counter.

"I’d like to talk to you about bats.”

"Sure Cas."

They ended up playing ‘Sorry’ and ‘Risk’ until night was technically almost morning, and both of them had work the next day. Castiel very pragmatically suggested she stay the night, and offered her pajamas to borrow. Meg was tempted to strip and sleep naked, but there was something pleasant and new to the softness of their budding relationship. He wasn’t the sort of guy she usually went for, and this wasn’t the way she usually did things, but Meg guessed that with the luck she had in how she usually did things, a change of pace might work better.

So she borrowed a toothbrush and wore a large white t-shirt with plaid flannel pajama pants that wouldn’t have staid up without a draw string, and she snuggled under the sheets with him. They kissed with gentle mouths, and touched with reverent hands, and sighed contentedly until they fell asleep curled next to each other.

-

Meg woke up with a groan when she heard someone doing things that sleeping people didn’t do. It was way too bright, and when she glanced at a clock that he had on the wall - it was shaped like a daisy - Meg remembered that she had to get up for work at some point soon. 

Cas was scrambling eggs in the kitchen corner across from the bed corner, and she watched him for a few minutes as she sat up and yawned. He was wearing the same pajamas as last night, navy blue pants and gray tee, with a ratty looking blue robe thrown on. Meg stood and stumbled into the bathroom before plopping down at the table. 

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, just not enough.”

“My apologies.”

“Don’t worry about it, I had a great night.”

“Do you like eggs?”

“As long as they come with coffee.”

“Of course.”

Castiel set a plate of eggs and a cup of sweetened coffee on the table in front of her. Meg thanked him and sipped at the coffee, the smell helping to wake her up as well. She hunched over her plate as she ate, slowly sitting up straighter as she woke up. 

Cas was nothing like anything she’d ever known, but he was everything that felt right. He sat framed by the window across the table from her, the early morning sunlight yellow and soft as it fell around his shoulders, lit up the curling ends of his rumpled hair casting a small corona around his head. He looked like a disheveled angel of thursday morning the way he smiled at her.

Meg thought it was weird, she didn’t really crave sex with him, she just wanted intimacy, she wanted to be close. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair, taste the coffee on his lips, feel his breath across her cheek, to know his solidity and presence in the warmth of his body and the reach of his limbs around her. 

He stood and shuffled across the room, bringing the coffee pot over to the table and filling her cup. When he took it back to the counter she followed, circling her arms around his waist and pulling him closer to her. Cas brushed her bed ruffled hair off her face and kissed her forehead. 

“I like waking up with you.”

“I really like it too.”

-

After they had finished breakfast, Castiel apologized that he had to be to work shortly and needed a shower. Meg had work later too, and although she could take the time to call Ruby and have her friend cover for her, Meg asked if she could join Cas in the shower. To save time. He helpfully pointed out that it would also save water and was therefore better for the environment. 

Meg ended up doubting Castiel’s point when they lingered in the shower washing each other. There was something more cleansing about water than was skin deep. The shower stall of Cas’ bathroom was tiny and the two of them barely fit in it. There was a small window in the very top to vent steam, and the sunlight coming through lit up his face and how his lips parted when she touched him. 

They explored each other’s bodies, and breathed each other’s air, taking their own pleasure in giving pleasure to one another. Skimming her fingers across the flat expanses of his muscles, he cradled the curves of her body in steady hands while he kissed away her doubts. She knew she’d never want anyone else, that she’d never be alone again. 

-

It was only a few months before they decided to move in together. They saw each other almost every day, a five minute conversation at the Gas n’ Sip, a coffee date after work, weekends spent curled in bed or catching a movie, all night board game tournaments. They figured it would just be easier if they consolidated to a single home location.

Meg couldn’t get out of her lease after only a half a year, but Castiel was coming up on his renewal. They packed what little he owned and found a place for it in Meg’s small but adequate apartment. His herb pots sat on her windowsill, and they hung shelves higher up on the walls to organize. Castiel loved her plants, and she loved that he woke first every morning and put on the coffee.

It wasn’t long before Fangs, although wary at first, would pester Castiel to sprawl on the floor and play with him. The fat tabby was eager to chase string if Cas was the one dangling it, and eventually he even started to drape himself across Cas’ face to sleep at night.

They settled alongside each other easily. Ruby took to Cas with a gleeful eagerness to tease and goad him, but Cas was always stoically unruffled. He earned himself a place of grudging respect in Meg’s small circle of friends. Every now and then when he had a shift off, he brought lunch to her in the shop, and once he started bringing food for everyone, they warmed up fast.

Although Cas was friendly with his co-worker Nora, he never saw her outside of work, he never seemed to contact anyone to socialize. He was a quiet kind of guy, but he was great once you got to know him. Meg did meet one of his friends eventually, that Cas said he rarely hung out with but they had a previous engagement to keep. Sam was polite, and Meg had the impression he was usually a lot more lively than when he came over for coffee the one time. But when Cas stood and said they were going to the cemetery to see Dean’s grave, she just nodded and waved goodbye. The name sounded familiar.

Meg felt lucky for what she found with Cas, even if it was a bit of a zig zag route to get there. She still had a few dusty skeletons in her closet, but if Cas didn’t want to shake them loose, she was content to let him keep his hidden away too.

-

It was an unreal kind of day when everything started to click into place for Meg and she could see a bigger picture. The sun was bright and she was sitting in the dappled shade of a big oak tree in one of the smaller parks the city had to offer. She had just needed a few minutes to clear her head, and wandered out absent mindedly without thinking of where she was going. Go figure Cas would come after her, bearing sandwiches from that deli she liked. 

Meg had made sure to be sure, she had missed two periods, she checked it several times with those pee sticks from the pharmacy, and she was about ninety nine point ninety nine percent certain that there was something growing in her belly. What she wasn’t sure of, was whether she wanted to keep it or not, whether they could support it, whether she could be a good mom for it. 

It scared her shitless, to think of something being so dependent on her. Meg had a million reasons she shouldn’t - she was selfish, she was irritable, she was irascible, she was just a piercer living in a small apartment with her boyfriend and a fat cat. But she also thought about her and Cas making something so fragile, so significant, and she kind of wanted to take the risk. 

He brought extra pickles with the sandwiches and smiled at her, shining like he always did anymore, and settled down on the bench. He waited until Meg had taken a few bites of her sandwich, while he picked at his, before he quietly asked “Is something wrong?”

Meg wiped sauce off the corner of his lips and licked her thumb. “I don’t think so. I’m not sure.”

He ate his sandwich, flecking crumbs off his lap for the birds, and waited. 

“Cas, I’m pregnant.”

The wide eyed stare he turned on her was almost comical, and if she was worried for a second how he might react it was obliterated when his smile stretched to his ears and he dropped his sandwich on his lap. 

“You are?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you, is there, something to not be sure about?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll respect any decision you make, Meg.”

“Do you think we could do it? Raise a kid, raise it right?”

“I do.”

“I think I want to try.”

Cas closed the small space between them, reaching out and placing his hand on her belly even though it was too early and there wouldn’t be anything there to feel, his other hand settling warm between her shoulder blades. There was a picture stretching out before her once the pieces started slotting together that she’d never seen before, and it made her ache in the best sort of way for wanting because Cas was there to press the pieces together with her.


End file.
